During the hustle and bustle of this foolishness that is my life, it seems that I am usually worried about something.
Some of the worries are serious ones that are far beyond my control and no matter how much I remind myself of this fact, they are always there.
Some of them are worries that we all have. Will I get this task done on time? Will I do it right? Will that be the end of it or will something else crop up and shit on me?
Some of them are specific to me. Will the haybine hold together long enough for me to finish cutting hay? Will the rain hold off? What the fuck was I thinking when I tore this rake apart further than necessary and now I have put myself behind. Will this thunderstorm result in a 1AM call to get the lights back on?
Sometimes though I get a reminder, that I really have nothing to worry about. Tonight for example. We live on the water, which is pretty idyllic really. As it got dark and I was preparing for bed a thunderstorm was rolling across the lake. Once in bed, the rain began to come down in buckets.
After a bit, sirens...lots of them. Since many times I have to respond to fire or accident calls, I sat up in bed and listened and waited for the phone to ring.
My wife was still up and suddenly I heard her talking out in the living room. Thinking she was talking to me and being unable to make out what she was saying, I got up and went out to find her at the front door talking to a neighbor who was walking the beach with a flashlight. I could see boats out front with search lights and the Coast Guard's flashing lights were blinking on and off.
A 14 year old boy was missing and was last seen at the public park 1000 ft down the beach. He had told someone he was going to swim out to the raft...information was sketchy, but the assumption was that he might have drowned, but nothing was certain...he may not even had been at the park at all.
I turned on all my lights facing the beach in order to help, but did not get dressed to go out as there was already enough confusion without me adding to it.
I sat on my front step and watched the boats zig zagging across the harbor, lights darting this way and that. I am thinking to myself, they really should be looking for something beneath the surface not floating on top.
Soon, the Coast Guard helicopter arrived noisily on the scene and began tracing the harbor with searchlights from above. Back and forth, back and forth, closer then farther, closer then farther as they swept the water's surface in what seemed to be a fairly well thought out pattern.
No chance of sleep of course. Might as well watch, too much noise and that nagging worry about someone else's kid. I am thinking to myself, "I hope the little shit snuck off to some party in the woods and didn't really attempt a night swim to the raft." We all did it, and at younger ages than 14, but we were swimming practically out of the womb and a lot of the kids that come here in the summer are novices and swimming in a community pool is significantly different than swimming in a deep lake.
Soon the helicopter is heading back to home base...fuel to get here, fuel used during the search and fuel needed to get home are huge considerations. The boats are still out there looking. If the kid is out there, he is beneath the surface and it will likely be a couple days before he is found. I am holding out hope that he pulled a fast one on his folks and that all their worries will be for nothing.
I am reminded that mine, in comparison, are nothing.
It is unlikely I will sleep, even though it is quiet. I will hope for good news in the morning and worry the rest of the night away for the kid and his folks and his friends.
And an update: As it turns out, they have not found the youngster in question and it appears as if there never was an issue at all. There have been no parents who have reported a missing kid and the person who called 911 in the first place after seeing him enter the water and then losing track of him did not report any sort of credible information other than losing track of the kid in the rain. Chances are pretty good that the kid went in the water and came out right after it started raining and is probably not even aware of the search that took place.
